.
Author:
Justine Nakimuli K Odwongo
Psychiatric Nurses Consultant in the National Health Service -UK
Childhood experiences and life events shape beliefs about safety, worth, Trust and control. Parenting styles, including African parenting norms, that emphasise toughness as a perceived resilience strategy. Have enhanced continuous trauma in later life. The belief “tougher parent, better future” is psychologically harmful.
Reports of children being locked out overnight, burned, fractured, sexually abused in a place they call home, yet coerced never to talk about it. This only continues to create psychopathic outcomes or emotional detachment. Some children are sent to live with another parent whom they have never met in life, which illustrates extreme harm. If a child is failing a parent during puberty, much of this should be related to how the parent has shaped the child from childhood. We live in a community that accepts violence, records videos of a husband battering a wife or child, and then shares them worldwide.
Such behaviour is witnessed by family and neighbours, who refer to the abusers as “no no-sense parents or husband!!” The self-identification as “no-nonsense” can obscure the harm caused. Society terms these as the best parents or loving partners, yet the older their children grow, the more they isolate from such families. Many die lonely and unhappy. Children internalise messages about worth and safety, increasing risk for future psychopathology or aggression. Yet in our African concept, we believe children will not remember, or they will grow out of it!
Society’s tolerance for harsh discipline correlates with higher rates of intergenerational trauma. We are then left with adults who beat someone to death, adults who sexually assault young girls, or adults using substances to block their pain.
If taken into hospital care, these patients are diagnosed with PTSD, anxiety, depression, and extreme anger. Personality disorders, attachment disruptions, and difficulties in forming trusted relationships. These experiences often intersect with issues of poverty, intercultural violence, +- or social isolation, amplifying impact.
Evidence shows that Trauma from adulthood shapes the adult psyche. Mental health outcomes in adulthood are often linked to early and ongoing adversity.
The mind, body, and spirit respond in interconnected ways to chronic stress and trauma. As parents or partners, we must work tirelessly to ensure we protect the mental health and well-being of those close to us.
We must break the cycle and create pathways to healing and prevention